No One Waits For Shit
by ScytheShinigami
Summary: Some people believed Akashi to be the commander of the GoM, they listened to his threats after all and while that seemed true, that isn't. Behind doors and chains, Kuroko was the one tangled in cobwebs. But when will he wake? YaoiHarem Kuroko! Or in which the GoM realizes their feelings for the Phantom and people start falling in love with Kuroko. Dark!Kuroko Smart!Kagami! M-rated!
1. Chapter 1

No One Waits For Shit

By _**ScytheShinigami**_

 **Summary: Some people believed Akashi to be the commander of the GoM, they listened to his threats after all and while that seemed true, that isn't. Behind doors and chains, Kuroko was the one tangled in cobwebs. But when will he wake? YaoiHarem Kuroko!**

* * *

Kuroko stared impassively at the court, ignoring the cheers and jeers of the audience as he watched the play-off between his childhood friend and teammates come to a close end. He could see the bright orange hair of Ogiwara trembling and Kise-kun laughing in the background. Akashi-kun was as smug as he could've been, his smirk placed cruelly onto his features and Aomine-kun wasn't looking bored for once, his smile wide and malicious. Murasakibara-kun was simply munching onto his snacks and Midorima was **fucking** smiling.

 _ **Smiling**_ , damn it.

He didn't know what to do at this point. They broke their promise. _**He**_ broke their promise. What was the point? To play Ogiwara-kun's team like some shitty piece of meat hung neatly over a pile of gourmet dining food. They were vicious, tearing Meijou apart and mocking their desperate attempt to get back at Teiko. And Ogiwara-kun was no longer able to do anything but shed tears shamelessly.

That's when his breath hitched and he couldn't stand it longer. His whole stature screamed dangerous and murderous, anyone within a mile radius could feel the maliciousness leak from him in waves. Spectators unconsciously stepped away from him warily, chills riding on their spines and goose bumps greeting them with a warning prickle, making their hairs stand on edge.

Fucking shits.

Momoi, who sat beside him in the audience seats for once, looked frightened. Her arms were tightened onto the clipboard that was clutched to her bosom and her bright magenta eyes were blown wide with indescribable fear, her face an open book. She looked ready to cry and honestly, he didn't know whether to give a fricking damn or not.

She had never seen him this mad.

He couldn't care less. He was tired of playing nice and if this was what was going to happen in the first place, he should've quit and thrown their shit the first time it happened. But the Generation of Miracles has their own uses, he mused as he quickly tried to reign in his infamous black temper and inwardly laughing as he watched Momoi with blank eyes, her eyes no longer terrified but one of naivety.

She believed that all was an illusion and Kuroko was for once very thankful of her obliviousness to straight facts. Momoi couldn't be used in any way and that was because she was generally useless. She was smart, yes, but she didn't have enough mental breakage that he could use. He was indifferent and had lived a life totally different from her. And as Kuroko watched Momoi turn back to the game to get more data statistics, his smile turned into a dark open mouthed smirk.

' _Heh, life of a yakuza is irresponsible,'_ a voice smirked darkly in his consciousness and he frowned, batting it away. Damn stupid voices that made no fricking shitty sense, he scowled.

He took out his cellphone from his canvas bag and turned it on. The lights flicked open and beeped accordingly, his fingers quickly pressing onto the contacts icon as he scrolled down for the name. He decided that, that person would be the first to know of his condition. His fingers stopped as he glanced at a particular name.

 _Mako-non_

He pressed it.

 _From: Tetsuya_

 _Sub: Unknown_

 _Prepare yourself, Mako. I'm nearly there._

* * *

Hanamiya Makoto scowled at the text message, his strange eyebrows twitching in irritation but he nonetheless sent an affirmative with his heart beating wildly, almost in apt excitement. He nearly shit himself right there when he received a message again and jumped nearly five feet high as bright strawberry blonde hair invaded his vision, snatching his phone away.

"Oy!" he hissed, watching as Hayama stared at his phone for a moment before throwing his hands up with a yell of joy. He immediately ran around the court while yelling incoherently, lips etched into a large toothy grin.

"He's coming! He's coming!" he began chanting in a high-pitched squeal, startling the rest of the players in the vicinity.

"Ahh…? Who's coming?" a large darkly tanned man asked absentmindedly, chewing burgers one after another but stopped when Hayama began squealing like a teenage girl. Hayama ignored him and continued with his antics, still fizzing around like a fireball.

"….What the freaking hell?" he said, stunned as Hayama began to blaze with fire. Hanamiya was too stunned to see his former teammate go up in flames to retaliate a sarcastic remark.

"Eikichi, Hana-chan, that's unsightly. Please close your mouths," the teen sitting next to another with evil glinting glasses said in an insulted way. Hanamiya snapped his mouth shut and glared ruthlessly.

"Shut the fuck up Reo," he spat viciously.

"Mah, mah Mako-chan. It's okay," the teen with glasses placated mockingly beside Mibuchi Reo, tilting his glasses upward with a leering grin. Hanamiya gave up on giving a proper response, knowing his senpai would just throw it back to him ten times more painful than his own and instead focused on trying not to get scared out of his wits when his phone began to ring even more, messages barging into the space of his cell. He began to sweat when he saw the amount of messages it received.

 _ **6 new messages**_

….Double shit, he was definitely pissed.

_Message 1_

 _From: Tetsuya_

 _Sub: Unknown_

 _Mako, send the previous Winter Cup and Preliminary Tournament round videos to me. Reply_ _ **immediately**_.

The words were obviously stressed out, what was he doing anyway?

_Message 2_

 _From: Tetsuya_

 _Sub: Unknown_

… _Did you just ignore me?_

_Message 3_

 _From: Tetsuya_

 _Sub: Unknown_

 _You just threw the phone, didn't you?_

_Message 4_

 _From: Tetsuya_

 _Sub: Unknown_

 _Answer me now, Hanamiya._

Shit, he never calls him by his family name **. EVER.**

_Message 5_

 _From: Tetsuya_

 _Sub: Unknown_

 _Hana-chan, are you going to answer or N.O.T?_

Damn, one word capitals are starting to show in his message.

_Message 6_

 _From: Tetsuya_

 _Sub: Unknown_

 _Repeat training section 12. And if you don't, I'm making Y.O.U into a eunuch. Don't try escaping, I know everything._

…quadrillion shit. He groaned, imagining the agonizing pain that would come with the crazy and shitty menu Kuroko had made for him a few years ago. Could it get any worse?

 _ **Beep**_

Scratch that, he jinxed himself. With that, he quickly threw the phone across him towards Imayoshi Shouichi and snickered in glee as his senpai gave a miniscule glance to the somewhat dangerous device before paling considerably. He repeated the same actions as Hanamiya did and threw it across to, unfortunately, Nebuya.

"Hrm?" Nebuya hummed as he held up the offending device up.

 _From: Tetsuya_

 _Sub: Unknown_

… _I'm going to_ _ **[bleep]**_ _your_ _ **[bleep]**_ _and make your eyebrows go_ _ **[bleep]**_ _and make sure your_ _ **[bleep]**_ _goes_ _ **[bleep] [bleep] [bleep]**_ _! Fuck this! And your_ _ **[bleep]**_ _will be my_ _ **[bleep]**_ _and_ _ **[bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleeeeeepppppppp]!**_

"AGH!" Nebuya cried in alarm and threw the cellphone away, his tanned stature going rigid and face white as paper. He was practically shivering and hyperventilating in fear at the threat.

"Damn, Eikichi's got it bad huh?" Reo whistled lowly as he watched Nebuya's frightened stupor with a look of amusement.

"Heh, typical of Ou-sama," Imayoshi snickered, recovering quickly from the terrifying text.

 _ **[Static] … Imayoshi?**_

They froze.

 _ **[Static] Fuck this; I know you bastards are there. Do I have to spell everyone's shitty ass names!?**_

Nebuya gaped and Hayama cheered, completely missing the tense atmosphere.

 _ **[Static] Eikichi, Shouichi, Makoto, Reo and Koutaro…. NEED. I. SAY. . MORE?**_

At the sound of the voice rising in quiet but unnoticeable octaves, they quickly scrambled to snatch the phone which ended them all in a dog pile while Hayama was happily chewing on his WacDonald crispy fries. They all grunted and Hanamiya growled in frustration, the device merely an inch away from his hands.

"Shut the thing up, damn it!" he hissed ferociously, arms still outstretched.

 _ **[Static]… What was that? You looking for pain, Ma-ko-to?**_

Hanamiya paled once more.

 _ **[Static] Screw it. I'm calling Tanaka-san to deal with you.**_

 _ **[Static] [Beeps close]**_

"….."

"Haven't seen Tanaka in a long time," Imayoshi murmured blankly, eyes dead in quiet despair.

"Ah," Nebuya nodded dumbly beside him. Hanamiya groaned again.

"We're screwed," Hanamiya murmured in defeat.

"…That's not the correct term, Hana-chan" Mibuchi disagreed with his friend.

"…."

"THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SHITTY _**[BLEEP] [BLEEP]**_ TERM!?" Hanamiya snarled, fed up with his idiocy and the fact that Kuroko's number one yankee butler was coming to deal with them wasn't helping in easing the matters in any form.

"….."

"Well, dipshit?" Hanamiya grouched, considerably calm. The rest turned to look at both him and Mibuchi.

"…We're **royally** and **eternally** _**fucked**_ ," Mibuchi said with the straightest and calmest face he could muster, internally panicked and shit-faced. The rest gave approving nods and continued staring blankly up at the skies.

"….We're dead" Nebuya commented.

"Ah" Hayama grunted beside him, finally realizing the gravity of the situation.

"…"

"…Nebuya"

"Yeah?"

"Shut the freaking fucking hell up"

* * *

 **A/N: Welcome to the first installment of No One Waits For Shit! Yorokobi nano desu! This series features a Dark!Kuroko but also Gentle!Kuroko and YaoiHarem!Kuroko. I hope you'll enjoy this series as much as I do in writing it. Make sure to come visit my other fanfictions like Between Flames, which is also Yaoi so anyone enjoying it will surely like it. Thanks for reading!**

 _Signing out,_

 _ **ScytheShinigami.**_


	2. Chapter 2

No One Waits For Shit

By _**ScytheShinigami**_

 **~Author's Notes~**

 **Yahhhh, I didn't expect a single review for this story and frankly its only been a day but its very well appreciated! I will try harder to complete ALL of my stories since its the holidays but I can't assure that. The chapters may get very less like 1k+ or 2k+ words but I'm trying my VERY best to ensure you have all the reading material you can amuse yourself with!**

* * *

The house was a quaint place, painted in white and the roof tiles a neutral sort of blue. From up close, there were lines of potted plants near the porch and also the front gates, the archway adorned with hanging strawberries with the fresh smell of vegetables coming from the back; the garden.

The perfect home.

Kuroko Sarah had the same thoughts when they bought the house and moved in with their little baby boy, Tetsuya. Her baby blue eyes had gone watery with happiness and she was practically glowing in joy, flinging herself into Kuroko Jinta's arms gratefully.

Now was still the same, although her young appearance did retain a little it was evident that she was coming into her forties soon and her husband Jinta was of the same predicament. But she was content, even with her blonde locks losing their beauty to be replaced with silver strands and her baby blue pools were watered over to a near dull gray, she was absolutely content to live this life.

That couldn't be said for her son though.

Kuroko was standing at one of the window alcoves in the reading room they're currently in, surrounded by soft cushions and books strewn haphazardly near the floor. The sunlight flickered into the large glass, making her son's bright blue hair flare in an unnatural sort of beauty; almost ethereal and his glassy blue eyes, so different from her warm eyes, shone mysteriously.

She smiled at his beauty even as his pink lips took on an ugly scowl and his brows furrowed into a look of frustration, a rare show of emotion. He paced back and forth with his fingertips onto the pages of _Trans Plagiarism: Permotio_ , crinkling the pages with his dis-concentration. Finally, he gave up and tossed the book carelessly towards the floor in a disgraceful manner and sighing morbidly, prompting a look of disapproval from his mother.

" _Yes yes Mother, I know,_ " he said in English, holding his hands up in surrender seeing his mother's look. Sarah nodded and made a few hand signs, smiling when Kuroko wheezed out in shock.

"Is that what Tanaka actually said?" he hissed out back to his native tongue, eyes wide in incredulity. She made a few more signs before patting his head in consolation, seeing his blank face slightly droop in disappointment.

"It's okay, Okaa-sama... I just... its been a long time and I just want to see Papa... God knows how much of a workaholic he is..." he murmured quietly, smiling as she raised her hand to write a sign-

"Shitsureshimashita. Bocchama, did you call for me?"

Kuroko turned towards the owner of the voice and gave an imperceptible minuscule of a smile, prompting the other occupant to give a small pleased bow in return. Steely black hair streaked with small slivers of silver strands flew up from its bowing position to face Kuroko and Sarah with bright honey eyes filled with warmth.

"Ah, Tanaka, I've a certain task for you to do,"Kuroko said wryly, mischief glinting in his usually blank eyes. Tanaka nodded, having a little gist of what his Bocchama wanted him to do as Kuroko handed him a piece of paper, listed with five different addresses and names.

He read each of the names quickly and excused himself, promising to take care of the matter swiftly so as to not miss their tea time and dinner later on.

"I sure hope Tanaka doesn't scare them all that much, although I did threaten to cut off Eikichi's **[bleep] [bleep]** yesterday..." Kuroko hissed in amusement, prompting Sarah to shake her shoulders in suppressed laughter; not that she could actually laugh.

Kuroko shook his head fondly and came to stand behind her wheelchair, pushing it towards the small upturn floor acting as the stairs for her and sent her to her room, seeing as to how exhausted she was. Helping her up to her bed, he placed her on the mattress carefully and tucked her in.

Giving her son a thank you with her hands, she slowly drifted off to sleep; Kuroko sitting by her side faithfully.

* * *

 _The Generation Of Miracles. Five prodigies, five individuals, five talents and only one goal..._

To win.

 _They were revered for their early blossom and were worshiped in the world of basketball. Players knew their names and were in awe, so amazed that they fear facing them in a real match. They were almost overlooked for the one fact that made them normal. Made them no different than a normal teenager; they overlooked that they were human._

In the beginning they loved and breathed basketball, going so far to push their bodies to the limit and have practice almost every day. They exhausted themselves, pushing even farther than usual, with defeat after defeat, they instilled that they WILL win. Those were the days that Kuroko could just laugh about it and still enjoy basketball, without the winning motto above their heads.

 _Then Aomine's part of the clock went missing._

Kuroko could remember the day Aomine changed so clearly, as if it happened mere minutes ago. He had bruised Kuroko so bad that he didn't know whether he actually KNEW Aomine anymore.

 _The match against Kirijima was a breeze. Aomine kept the ball at bay as he zoomed past his opponents with a large excited smile. They all scrambled in fright as he jumped up, arms outstretched and the ball dunking into the hoop with such force that the net wobbled a bit. Their eyes went wide and some slumped in defeat._

 _Aomine's grin faltered a bit._

"Tetsu, this is boring"

He had slapped away Kuroko's fist-bump and left him alone in the court, filled with defeated people and Akashi staring at them as if he knew that it would happen and that he was satisfied about them. That made Kuroko pissed off and he had glanced to look at his captain, harsh glare plastered on his face.

 _Heterochromatic._

 _Blank blues._

"...Absolute, huh?" he muttered.

 _Akashi was unpredictable at times. He could give credit to him for that. It wasn't that he could predict the future at will, its that he focuses on the certain aspects and the possibility of things interrupting said events and actions, going further as to calculate a single mishap. This made him a dangerous opponent, for he played like a King and **is** a King. _

_That didn't mean he didn't make mistakes either..._

 _He is , after all in a sense, a human._

Sighing, Kuroko leaned into the seat as he watched the sun set down the horizon slowly, swirling his vanilla shake absently and twirling his cellphone in the other, reminiscing silently over the past few events. He made sure to choose the most inconspicuous seat in the fast food joint and booked it until midnight. Knowing how Hayama and Nebuya's food habits were, he knew this was going to take a while.

* * *

Sounds of pots and pans clanging together sounded out throughout the kitchen, mixing with the sharp chops of the knives cutting vegetables and meat, the soft crunch of a pepper shaker and the cling clang of a metal ladle stirring the food.

Hanamiya Aya hummed contently as the smell of nikujaga wafted over the room pleasantly, making her smile. Her chestnut brown hair was curly and short, making it looking wavy and her teal eyes shimmered in the glint of the light. She was wearing a yellow sweater and loose black pants, pink apron over her sweater.

"I wonder if Makoto-chan is feeling alright?" she said worriedly.

Her son had come home yesterday with a sullen look but a very satisfied smile, going upstairs into his room and he didn't even eat dinner, prompting his mother to worry for him. She knew he'll be fine though, judging by the smile on his face yesterday, he was probably far from alright. He was, dare she say it, happy for once.

"Anata, you shouldn't worry about Makoto so much. He's probably having the time of his life now, just by his smile, its probably about that leader of his," her husband said, his seaweed green hair tied to a small rat's tail and silver eyes staring at her softly. Aya hummed again, setting utensils and the food on the dining table.

"Leader, you say?" she asked curiously, sitting down beside her husband.

"Ah, he's been talking about that boy you see" Hiratoshi smiled.

"Heeh~, trust Makoto-chan to have a King system... Mattaku, he's really your son, ne?" Aya sighed at her child's antics, clearly used to it.

After years of being married to her husband, she understood what his way of doing things were and acknowledged that they had their effectiveness and advantages. Hiratoshi understood that even as dirty as the tactic is, so long as it didn't endanger anyone's lives in the process, it was as good to use and it didn't hurt that he was practically gambling people's lives in the process. Living was already a sense of dying. Death is but a next step.

Aya got up and made way for the 2nd floor stairs, shuffling in her steps a bit when the family dog, Takki, scrambled and veered off his course. The Maru dog swung his legs and knocked off the single round table next to the stairs, causing Aya to panic as the table was the accommodation of a beautiful vase containing a set of Proteas flowers.

Luckily, she managed to save it; at the cost of her precious pink frilly apron being dirtied on the floor.

"Takki~!" she groaned, shifting herself upright from her fall to the ground. Cleaning up the mess, she continued upwards the stairs-

 _ **Ding Dong**_

"Coming!" she called out, going downstairs towards the door. She quickly dashed downstairs and opened the door.

"Hai?" she asked, puzzled.

The person on the other side of the door looked a tad bit strange. His clothes consisted of a black suit and white undershirt, similar to that of a butler she'd seen in animes, making her feel bit amused. She hoped this wasn't any of her son's team-mates making another statement for Makoto, she liked them but that didn't mean they could send a cosplayer after Makoto.

"I'm looking for Hanamiya Makoto-dono?" the stranger asked.

"He's in, but what for?" Aya said suspiciously.

The stranger smiled.

"I'm Tanaka, Bocchama has requested Hanamiya-dono's presence"

* * *

'アクセス... **了解** '

Kuroko raised his eyes slightly at the words displaying on the screen. It had been past two hours already and he was still waiting at the burger joint, not worried that the five bastards, as he dubbed them, hadn't shown up yet. It was customary for them to be late, as he was used to it.

While waiting for their arrival, he got bored and decided to mess around with the Net after he had about a dozen milkshakes, he was glad that he had actually done so. After a few minutes of fiddling around, he had found out that , despite the Japanese government's assurance that their Data and Net was safe and impenetrable with the inclusion that it was also warded with anti-hacker programs, he was still able to get in easily while not really trying.

So now he's scrolling the list names of various high schools and the student database covering the whole country.

 _'Hinata Shoyo,hrm... To-torino? No, thats wrong...Oh, Karasuno'_

 _ **Beep.**_

 _'Kinomoto Sakura? Hah?'_

 _ **Beep.**_

 _'Haiba Lev? Half? Russian? Heh? Ne-nekoma? '_

 _'….'_

 _'WHAT KIND OF HIGH SCHOOL NAME IS THAT?!'_

 _ **Beep Beep Beep!**_

Quickly getting frustrated, he instead went to search in the basketball powerhouse high schools.

 _'To-ou Gakuen... Hrmm, they've got good offense. Their playing style would suit Ahomine so I think this will be his first pick, since he doesn't want teamwork as he says...'_

 _'Rakuzan, an elite school. Oh, Reo, Eikichi and Kotarou are here. No doubt Akashi will come here, its fit for a King after all...'_

He scrolled down even further-

 _ **Click**_

 _'Hah? Late entry?'_

He wondered, peering down on the screen but he smiled when he saw what it wrote.

 _'Wei Liu, Yosen, Basketball scholarship transfer'_

"Interesting," he mused.

* * *

 **Special Thanks To:**

 **Lorelei Jacques:** I know right!? When I find GomKuro fics, I get so KYAAA! Its just so cute! Thanks for the compliment! *blushes furiously* I've never heard anyone tell me that I'm smart because I don't particularly stand out. I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for review!

 **Shiranai Atsune:** Yes I get what you mean ^^. This fic was made unlikely as well, I hope you enjoy the second chapter! Thanks for reviewing!

 **beIncaz:** Thanks so much for reviewing first! ;) I'm glad you liked the idea!

* * *

 **|~Author's Notes~|**

 **Well, I'm updating next week on Thursday! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter no matter how short :)**

 **I'm exhausted and since it's midnight here, I think I'm calling for a lights out.**

 _Signing out,_

 _ **ScytheShinigami.**_

 **Please REVIEW! DON'T JUST FOLLOW AND FAVE ME! **

**I want to hear _|Y.O.U.R OPINION|_ too!**


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